Love or emotional dependence

Love or emotional dependence

Being in love with someone and depending on someone are two states that tend to be confused, although put into practice they have nothing to do with each other.

Love is not comparable to situations such as need, anguish, pain or suffering , words with which we would define emotional dependence.

Objectivity in a relationship is not easy to achieve, since we are the protagonists of the story and we tend to be subjective with the person in front of us and all the actions we carry out on a daily basis with and for them. For this reason, it is normal that sometimes we get confused thinking that what we feel for the other person is love, when in reality we are depending on them, forgetting who we ourselves are and the way we acted and behaved before.

To put ourselves more and better in the situation, we will define emotional dependence as the fact of giving our whole life to another person and that it is this person who decides at all times about our state of mind . It is a state in which we ourselves do not control our actions, rather we let the other person drag us to what they do, feel or say about us. In addition, in this situation we feel an immense need to receive love, and we will see any small detail that the other person has with us very great.

Now, how can we detect this emotional dependence? There are several signs that lead us to think that we are in a relationship of this type:

  • We don’t want to be alone, but neither do we want to be with anyone other than our partner.
  • We don’t know where our limits are and we have forgotten the word “no” as an answer.
  • Our relationship is ahead of other areas in our lives, such as family, work or friends.
  • We do not value ourselves enough, we only see what we are worth and the role we have in our relationship.
  • We feel that we cannot spend a minute without talking to our partner through any means, and especially today with new technologies, this fact is more evident.

Normally, those who find themselves in such a situation are people who have many fears and feel inferior to the rest of the world, so they do not want to feel alone and anyone is worth getting away from this situation.

If you have felt identified with any of the points stated above, surely now you will wonder how to get out of a relationship of this type . It is not easy to take the step, especially because when you are in this state, most of the time you are not aware of what is happening around you and that your relationship is not healthy.

The first signal usually comes through the people around you and begins to give you clues that something is wrong. For this reason, it is important to listen to the people close to you, to those who you know love you well . You have to accept the situation as soon as possible and start changing the attitudes that lead to finding yourself in a state of dependency. In some cases, the help of an external person specialized in these cases may be needed.

And it is that only when we feel good and comfortable with ourselves can we embark on the adventure of love and share our life with another person. Equality, self-confidence and self-esteem are the essential pillars to start with. And from here, you can build a beautiful and stable story, in which you are both in love and happy, but you never feel dependent on each other.


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