A little dysfunction with your partner? Don’t panic, maybe it’s not that bad. We talk about it with Franck Ancel, psychoanalyst.
This situation is still taboo, sometimes experienced as a shame. How to overcome this feeling?
The first thing to do is to make your partner feel guilty. Sexuality has many faces, it is not necessarily classic between a man and a woman. It is possible to love oneself sexually other than with the sexual organs. You have to get out of the organic aspect to ask yourself the question of the mental, the sensual, when we see things more from the point of view of desire.
It is not so easy to broach the subject…
Beyond the breakdown, is always important. Do not hesitate to relieve yourself of guilt and seek new practices that allow you to find desire, to reinvent your sexuality. The breakdown can concern any partner. We are not machines, we do not repair sexuality like a machine that no longer works. Breakdown is a very simplistic term for what sexuality is and refers to a mechanized era. We must consider the biological aspect of the body but also the psychological and spiritual aspect of the person.
When should you consult?
This problem can be episodic so we must talk about it. You can make an appointment with a sexologist to regain sexual energy beyond certain sensual practices. You have to know how to get help if the situation lasts too long and distances the partners . The analysis of a sex therapist sheds light on a fulfilling sexuality, the sexuality of our time is to be reinvented.
The “little guilty pleasures” are good for your couple
If you hide (little) things from your loved one, don’t panic, it’s probably good for your relationship. Explanations.
Do you sometimes hide (little) things from your husband/wife? Do you (for example) have a stash of chocolate stashed in the apartment that your partner doesn’t know about? Do you sometimes buy clothes, shoes, cosmetics… online without telling him?
Good news: these little guilty pleasures (provided they don’t cause suffering, such as infidelity, for example!) are good for your couple . This is the conclusion of a recent study conducted by researchers at Indiana University (in the United States) and published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology .
A (mild) guilt that can lead to greater investment in the relationship
The researchers worked with voluntary couples . First info: they discovered that 90% of the participants had “little secrets” towards their partners. ” The most amusing thing is that certain couples hide exactly the same things from each other: thus, two supposedly vegetarian people admitted to eating meat when their husband / wife was absent! “they underline.
“These little secrets can of course lead to guilt, but we have found that the latter is not necessarily negative since it can also lead to a greater investment in the relationship: greater attention to the needs of the other, a more consistent desire to please him, a greater importance given to parties and important dates of the couple … “explain the researchers.